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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Gender Roles in Marriage: What it Means to Lead and Follow

The article says this: “Advanced tango dancers, as in advanced marriages, ad lib their way across the floor because there are no shoe prints outlined in white to follow. They move by the impulses of their hearts, by the room’s physical borders, around others in their path, and by the direction of his firm hand and her receptive body. As in marriage, someone has to guide, or they will fall on one another. It would just be a matter of time before everyone on the dance floor fell into a heap of twisted ankles and angry words”

It depends on the dance. Many dances do not require that anyone leads. Some allow each person to do their own dance, some simply allow the partners to hang onto each other and enjoy the feeling of intimacy. What is interesting about this message is that it is saying only the male can succuessfully  lead. Women can lead lead equally well. It is by tradition that men lead, not by any superior skill or ability. Many successful marriages are that way because the woman leads.

There is nothing wrong with the man being in control, but to claim it MUST be that way it simply absurd.

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